It's been another long week of uncertainty

I keep saying that 'hopefully today or this week I will have some answers' - I still don't.

There's an old proverb that says 'a watched kettle never boils'. Waiting for a diagnosis is a bit like watching the kettle to boil. I have been getting on with everyday things but the not knowing is always in the back of my mind.

Last week I went out for dinner with some of the ladies from the research project. It was great catching up with everyone and having some time to talk and get to know each other. I'm looking forward to getting together again some time. On Saturday night I had dinner with the people in my dinner group. I really love these nights - lots of good food, great company and so much fun. We only have one meal left together as a group and I have my name down for the next round of dinner groups. It's a great way to get out and meet people and I'm looking forward to meeting more people.

Last week I also had my second MRI to check for a tumour. It have now finally been cleared of having a tumour which is great but the good news is totally offset by the news that I have a degenerative eye disease. The week has been pretty tough with having to come to terms with the news that I don't have a tumour and that I have a degenerative eye disease, the attitude of a doctor and the still not having a definite diagnosis.

I have been given an appointment at the hospital but an 'urgent' appointment is six weeks away. Six weeks is a long time to wait when I still don't have a diagnosis and there are so many questions that I want answered. Rather than wait another six weeks I am seeing the Neuro - Opthomologist in his private rooms this afternoon. I am really hoping that I will get some answers this afternoon but am aware that maybe I wont.

On Tuesday I also had another bone and CT scans on my foot to see if the bone is healing at all. I have been in the CAM boot now for over 12 weeks and while my foot does feel better than it did at the start I am still having a lot of pain where the fracture is. I should get the results of the scans today as well so will know if I will have to keep wearing the CAM boot or if I will need any further treatment.

My appointment with the Neuro - Opthomologist is at 2.45pm this afternoon. I am feeling really nervous about the possibility of not being given a diagnosis again but I'm also feeling nervous about actually getting a diagnosis that I really don't want to hear.

To help keep my mind off the appointment this afternoon I am going in to work for a few hours. My friend Andrea is going to come with me today so it will be good to have some support as I think that whatever the news it's going to be hard.

So it's with a deep breathe in and lots of prayers that I face another day of wondering if I will finally be given a diagnosis.