I try and live life a day at a time but there is always something planned for the next day, next week, next month or even next year. We live life assuming that there will be many more days ahead where we can fulfill our dreams, finish something we have started, visit someone, go away on a holiday or even do something mundane like bath the dog, vacuum the floor or clean out the study.
I have a dream to make a quilt for each person in my family. Somehow because of this dream I have thought that I have many more days and even years ahead and that I have plenty of time to fulfil my dream.
On Friday I was given news that made me realise again that life isn't endless and that I don't have forever to make the quilts for my family.
I don't know what is ahead for me in the coming days, weeks or months as I face this new challenge in my life. I'm scared for what I already know. I am scared of the unknown. I am scared of not being able to fulfil my dream of making a quilt for everyone.
I pray that the doctors have got it wrong, maybe the machine wasn't working properly, maybe it isn't as bad as they say. Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and find it was all just a bad dream.
For now though all I can do is my best. Deal with the things I have to, accept the things that I cannot change, make the most of what I have and what I can do and trust that somehow things will work out fine.
As for my dream - all I can do is continue sewing every stitch of every quilt with the same love and care that I always have but maybe now with the realisation that I may not have 'forever'.
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